Actress Sadie Frost Opens Up About Her Postpartum Depression in New Memoir

Sadie Frost's memoir, "Crazy Days," will hit stores next month, so sneak peeks of the book are starting to hit the wires. The memoir delves into Frost's experience with postpartum depression over several years during her marriage to actor Jude Law.

Sadly, Frost experienced PPD twice, following the births of her second and third children. Not only did she suffer a breakdown and at one point had to stay in a psychiatric ward, her disorder was apparently the cause for the unraveling of her marriage. One night she actually slashed her arm with a pair of scissors. Her description of how emotionally detached and empty she felt while cutting herself is creepy, but sadly familiar to many women who have suffered from PPD.

The Daily Mail recently came out with a lengthy article that includes an excerpt from Frost's memoir, and I believe that much of her story will ring true with any woman who has suffered from a postpartum mood disorder.

The article closes with these pearls of wisdom from Frost: "I've realised, as a woman and a mother, that depression is not something we like to admit to. The stigma remains: as a mother you are supposed to cope and not admit defeat. What saved me was being able to ask for help and to accept it. It was the best thing to do because as soon as I did, recovery was swift.

To come through and out the other end, into the light, you have to experience pain. Yes, there are moments of loneliness but I now have a routine and rhythm to my life that I didn't have before.

Every morning I wake with my four children. We have at least seven cups of tea during the day and at night we have cups of cocoa and cuddles. Glamorous it ain't, but it's real life, and I'm happy."

The good news is that Frost survived her ordeal and it sounds like she's the better for it, with four children and, now, a healthy and happy life.

Arizona Postpartum Wellness Coalition Makes Big Strides in Improving the Postpartum Experience for Arizona's Families

One of my favorite non-profit organizations dedicated to postpartum wellness is the Arizona Postpartum Wellness Coalition (APWC). The APWC is comprised of a group of amazing volunteers around the state of Arizona who focus primarily on providing education opportunities on perinatal mood disorders as well as much-needed community resources. APWC volunteers put on workshops, facilitate postpartum depression support groups, and provide a toll-free warmline.

The APWC was recently awarded a significant grant from Jenny's Light that will enable the organization to provide free educational presentations on postpartum mood disorders (in English and in Spanish) throughout Arizona, in addition to covering the cost for thousands of new brochures. This is endeavor is called "Operation Education," and the APWC is currently looking for volunteers as well as locations in Arizona to host the educational presentations.

The APWC also has a need for volunteer or low-cost web design help. If there are any web designers out there who have been touched in some way by postpartum depression and would like to volunteer their services for this truly worthwhile organization, please contact chibbert@postpartumcouples.com.

Perfectionist moms at greater risk for postpartum depression

An article came out yesterday on LiveScience.com reporting on a recent study that suggests perfectionism can put a new mom at risk for postpartum depression. I don't necessarily find this surprising. When I was a new mom, naturally I wanted everything to be perfect, and I totally bought into the Hallmark image of a glowing postpartum where I appeared blissful with my precious new bundles of joy while my pregnancy weight miraculously melted away.

Of course, things were far from perfect after my first pregnancy and I had absolutely no sense of control over anything that was happening. I had one baby barely hanging on in NICU, premature by three months and weighing only two pounds, and had to bury his twin brother a few days after their birth. On top of everything, only four months into my postpartum, I was stunned to find myself pregnant again.

So this article cites the study and states that: The link between perfectionism and postpartum depression was strongest amongst those who try to deal with perfectionism by appearing as if they don't have a problem.

I'm certain that I buried my depression while I was pregnant the second time around because I was terrified that the pregnancy would end up like the first. And I imagine I was still in shock from the horrible way my first pregnancy had turned out. I don't know that I was necessarily trying to deal with my perfectionism by appearing as if I wasn't suffering -- I think I was merely trying to survive an unbearable situation.

In any case, I think it's easy for new moms to fall into the perfectionism trap. Because it is definitely a trap. I've never known a mom who had it all together right after giving birth. Maybe there are some perfect moms out there, but I have yet to meet one. (Thank goodness, or that would seriously be reason to get depressed....) ;)

I think this study is interesting, although not rocket science. It would probably be worthy of being included in the "what to expect" handouts that OB's give out to prepare first-time moms. To check out the article, you can click here.

Breastfeeding Mom Thrown Into Jail Over a Restraining Order

I blogged about this earlier on my other blog, and I think it's relevant here as well.

Amy Shroff, a young mom in Denver, Colorado, went to her local police station because she's terrified of her ex-husband, who was following her in his truck at the time. She ran into the station with her restraining order in her hands and let a police officer know that her ex was in violation of the order because he continues to contact her. The police officer mistakenly believed that the ex was the one who filed the restraining order against her (?!?), so he throws her into jail for the night. How crazy is that?

Never mind that she's in jail for no good reason, separated from her baby and unable to breastfeed. The police officer, Frank Spellman, apparently didn't care, even when she pleaded with him to let her go home to feed her baby. The baby ended up being fed formula and became ill as a result.

In the end, the City of Denver now has to pay Shroff $175,000 for her wrongful arrest. Which, in my opinion, is way too little.

So when you have this kind of situation, where you're a victim of domestic violence, afraid of your baby's father and dealing with a crazy system where you can actually get arrested when all you want is protection, ... how do you avoid depression? Her postpartum cannot have been a cake walk with the issues and abuse she has faced from her ex. It makes me depressed simply reading this woman's story as it's spread across the wires the past few days.

You can read one version of her story by clicking here.

Ever since I started my Order of Protection Survivor blog, I'm hearing about new moms who are dealing with issues of abuse that can only serve to exacerbate postpartum-related stress. I honestly don't know how these women get through such devastating issues while juggling the demands of a newborn.

Susan Dowd Stone on EmpowHER: screening for postpartum mood disorders is a good thing!

On the EmpowHER web site, award-winning therapist and nationally renowned postpartum depression expert Susan Dowd Stone recently wrote an article about the concept of mandated screening for postpartum mood disorders. You can click here to find the article.

In the article, Stone addresses the misconceptions that have been floating around, (mainly due to a backlash of reactions to the MOTHERS ACT legislation), on screening that is offered to new moms. There have been plenty of rumors that women will be forced to be screened for postpartum depression and other postpartum mood disorders, however that is simply not the case.

What I don't understand about all of this is why some women are turning this into a big issue. What are they afraid of? Screening is a great thing, and any health care facilities that offer screening for postpartum mood disorders should be applauded. Women are certainly not going to be forced into screening if they're not interested.

If there had been screening back in 1996, when I went through my own postpartum depression hell, then maybe I wouldn't have experienced PPD in the first place. Any preventative measure like postpartum mood disorder screening can only be helpful to a lot of women and their families.

If you're interested in finding more of Susan Dowd Stone's work, you can visit her web site at: http://www.perinatalpro.com.

Moving on and having hope

Before I get started with this latest PPD post, I'd just like to thank everyone who has offered support during the past few nightmarish months of breaking free from my ex-husband, Neil Zucconi. Our 10-month marriage (which was definitely 10 months too long) taught me many things, and one of the biggest things I've learned is how many truly amazing friends I have. I didn't know what a crucial support system Facebook could be, and I'm so grateful for everyone's constant and supportive comments, phone calls, hugs, and prayers.

Okay, so ... I'm moving on. :)

I'm totally back to the topic of postpartum depression after my little hiatus...

And, what I'm posting about today seems very fitting. I'd like to bring attention to a blog post on Katherine Stone's Postpartum Progress blog, not only because it's extremely well written and touching, but also because it's written by her husband -- a man who truly "gets" what PPD is all about and has been right there in the thick of it, supporting his wife through all of the ins and outs of PPD over the years as she evolved from a woman who suffered from the disorder to one who advocates for others. He was right there alongside Katherine and all of the other strong women who spoke out and worked hard to ensure that the MOTHERS ACT was passed. And what a tremendous victory that was.

As I try to move forward and get my life back, it really helps to read such a wonderful post by a husband who is reaching out to encourage women who are suffering from PPD that there is hope.

That message of hope is good for all of us.

Today I dismissed the Order of Protection against Neil Zucconi

Well, my nightmare is over. I went to court today and dismissed the Order of Protection that I had filed on March 19, 2010, against Neil Zucconi because I was able to obtain what I feel is even better and much longer lasting protection for myself and my family than the Order of Protection provides. (You can find a lot more about this on my other blog, http://orderofprotectionsurvivor.blogspot.com) I dismissed the order in exchange for a stipulated addendum that is now attached to our decree of dissolution of marriage (divorce decree). This stipulated addendum contains provisions that include the fact that Neil Zucconi "shall not come into the State of Arizona for a period of one (1) year, ... and shall have no contact whatsoever with (me) by any means." So, no contact with me -- ever.

More on the legal saga can be found here on this public Maricopa County Superior Court web site.

I feel pretty good about this. It's "forever," whereas an Order of Protection is valid for only one year, at the end of which time, I would have had to go back to court to continue to have it upheld. One drawback to giving up my Order of Protection is the fact that it came with police enforceable protection. I don't have that now that the Order of Protection has been dismissed, however the stipulated addendum of the divorce decree is a fully enforceable order of the court....and if it is ever violated, I can easily go to court to get another Order of Protection.

While I was in court earlier today to take care of the Order of Protection dismissal, I listened to another woman who was there to obtain an Order of Protection of her own. Her story was so sad, as she recounted for the judge the physical abuse that she and her nine-year-old son had experienced at the hand of her boyfriend. And there were other women besides her who were waiting to see the judge to have their Orders of Protection filed as well. This must go on every hour of every day in every court across the country. It's crazy. Thank goodness we have legal protection in place for domestic violence victims such as the young woman who's testimony I heard, but how horrible that women have to resort to it.

This has definitely been an eye-opening and very jolting experience to go through, and if any of my blog readers would like to reach me or to know more about my story, feel free to leave a comment below.

How do you deal with the trauma of an order of protection?

Yes, I'm still taking a brief break from my PPD posts here and posting on my current ordeal instead....

But, before I delve more into my stuff, it just occurred to me that it must be an absolute nightmare to be a new mom AND to deal with the devastation of a traumatic divorce. I can't imagine juggling the demands of a newborn while coping with the fear, shock and craziness that comes with divorce. And what if you have to deal with filing a restraining order against your spouse or significant other at the same time? I can't even begin to imagine.

It's difficult enough wading through the court system while trying to find people who can help advocate for you. I've been extremely fortunate to have found an incredible local resource that I never knew existed until I was forced to call upon the police one horrible night this past February. That incident triggered a phone call with the Victim Services Program at my local police department where I discovered amazing advocates (both paid and volunteer staff) who are incredibly knowledgeable and supportive.

These dedicated Victim Services advocates are amazing and heroic in their efforts on behalf of women who are suffering, and who need legal guidance as well as police assistance. I will forever be grateful to Betsy, one of the advocates there who not only held my hand throughout the traumatic Order of Protection filing process, but she also successfully tracked down my ex-husband, Neil Zucconi, in California to have him served with the Order of Protection.

But even with that tremendous support, I have often felt very alone throughout this time. Not because I don't have amazing, caring friends and family supporting me, but because I really don't know others who have gone through this. I never imagined this would happen to me. I never even imagined that I'd ever have to call 911. This wasn't supposed to be part of my life.

But then again, whoever expects this stuff to happen. Things like postpartum depression, cancer, losing your job, death of a loved one, domestic violence, ... you name it. Something devastating can seep insidiously into your life with little or no warning, and there you are. I guess it's all about how you cope....

You can find a lot more about this part of my life on my other blog, http://orderofprotectionsurvivor.blogspot.com.

Fighting the Devastating Impact of Mental Anguish

I'm still deep in this post divorce abyss. Yes, I know I'm still off-topic here on my PPD blog, but I don't want to not post anything at all while I'm in this horrible place. I have a feeling I'll be here for a while. And I really need to have a voice during this time. But honestly, PPD is not the foremost topic on my mind right now. Right now, it's all about survival and getting through this in one piece.

I do feel that a lot of what I'm experiencing mentally and emotionally correlates to many of the repercussions I experienced fourteen years ago when I suffered so terribly from postpartum depression. I can't sleep -- I'm fighting all kinds of swirling emotions -- but most of all I'm just so sad.

I can't believe my marriage to Neil Zucconi ended up the way it did. And I can't believe that I had to call the local police on February 5 to have him removed from my home. Until the police officers who showed up that awful night advised me to file an Order of Protection, I had absolutely no idea what one was or how to file for one. This whole ordeal has been quite an education. And one I didn't think I'd ever have to learn.

Hopefully soon I'll have the peace of mind to get back to my PPD posting and advocacy work. But for now, please bear with me as I come back up for air. And if anyone reading this has anything they'd like to share on this topic, please feel free.

Dealing with Divorce and a Restraining Order

Unfortunately I haven't posted here in a while due to personal reasons. Although not related to postpartum depression, my present situation is just as devastating on a mental and emotional level, and I'm guessing there are plenty of women who can relate, so I'll share what's going on with me right now....

I just recently divorced and it has been extremely traumatic. My marriage to Neil Zucconi was quite brief; after about 10 months I filed for divorce. And shortly after that, on March 19, 2010, I filed an Order of Protection (restraining order) with the Superior Court in Phoenix, and he was subsequently served on April 30. One challenging aspect of this has been the fact that Neil is in law enforcement, as an air marshal with TSA. The amount of mental anguish and emotional stress and general fear that I've been dealing with in filing this restraining order has overwhelmed me. (You can find a lot more about this on my other blog, http://orderofprotectionsurvivor.blogspot.com.)

I'm in the process of reaching out to others who are dealing with or who have dealt with filing a restraining order against a spouse or significant other. I'm also looking for divorce support groups and other resources that might help as I head towards recovery. I know it's going to be a long haul. I think that to some extent, I'm still in shock about what has happened. I didn't see this coming at all. It actually reminds me a lot of the many months back in 1996 when I was on the road to recovery from postpartum depression. Once again, I'm dealing with feelings of shock, helplessness, fear, anger, sadness, and of course, a big blow to my self esteem.

This is definitely not easy.

Mt. Holyoke Alumnae Quarterly publishes Postpartum Depression: A Silent Epidemic

Another postpartum health advocate, blogger and professional writer, Ivy Shih Leung, teamed up with me to produce a PPD article that has just been published in the latest edition of the Mt. Holyoke College Alumnae Quarterly magazine.

We're very proud of this piece since much sweat and tears went into unearthing the many emotions that we still harbor even after all of the years that have gone by since our experiences with PPD.

My own experience with PPD so greatly shaped my foray into motherhood and still lingers with me to this day, propelling me towards advocacy and education with the hope that I can help other women avoid this life-changing disorder.

To check out the online version of our article, you can click here. I am grateful to the editorial board of the Quarterly for giving us the amount of attention and space that this issue so deserves.

Check out Dr. Shoshana Bennett's PPD Video Series on EmpowHer

I have another video to share of a remarkable woman who has made tremendous strides in spreading awareness of PPD while treating and helping women who have it. Dr. Shoshana Bennett is the past president of Postpartum Support International as well as founder of Postpartum Assistance for Mothers. Also a renowned author and speaker in the realm of postpartum depression, Shoshana has devoted much of her adult life to educating new moms on the symptoms of PPD and how to be empowered to overcome them. In fact, she is a survivor of two life-threatening, undiagnosed instances of postpartum depression herself, which makes her a total expert in my book, even with her amazing credentials.

To view a video series of Shoshana discussing various aspects of PPD in short clips, click here. You can also see her work on her wonderful and informative web site.

NAMCs Circle of Caring PPD Support Groups

I came upon the National Association of Mothers' Centers (NAMC) while on Facebook and want to help spread word of the fantastic work they do in the postpartum depression realm. One of the association's main missions is to educate moms and their families about PPD while reaching out to them with support. Based in New York, NAMC collaborates with the Postpartum Resource Center of NY to provide peer-led support groups to help empower women who are experiencing PPD.

The women who lead these support groups are trained as facilitators and volunteer their time to help other women. These "Circle of Caring" groups are in two locations in New York state at this time, however NAMC hopes to expand this service to other cities around the U.S. I believe that groups like these are incredibly important and are so very needed by women who are suffering from the symptoms of PPD and need to feel that they're not alone.

To learn more about the NAMC's program or to provide support, you can contact Lisa Kaplan-Miller at lisak@motherscenter.org or (516) 939-6667, x106.

Besides their postpartum depression outreach, NAMC provides other excellent resources for moms through their 30+ centers that are located throughout the U.S. The association works at both the grassroots and national level and is definitely worth checking out.

My friend Michelle shares her PPD story in an awesome video interview

There's a great video interview of a friend of mine, Michelle, who has been an extraordinary PPD advocate here in Arizona. Please check out her story by clicking here. This interview took place in Tucson over a year ago while Michelle and I, along with other women's health advocates, were attending a women's mental health symposium at the University of Arizona. This interview was just posted on EmpowHer and is part of an excellent series of PPD videos spotlighting several women's stories.

PPD support on Twitter!

For all of you tweeters out there, Twitter Moms has a PPD support group going that's pretty interesting. It doesn't seem super active, but there are about 30 great moms in the group who are hitting some important PPD topics.

While there, you can listen to a podcast by Dr. Heather, who calls herself the "babyshrink." You can also enter a discussion forum and contribute to topics such as "When did you realize it was PPD?" There is venting going on as well as sharing. But, most importantly, moms can easily connect to other moms who are dealing with a postpartum mood disorder by simply clicking on their photo.