MUST READ: A dad shares his story of losing his daughter to PPD

Susan Dowd Stone recently posted the following incredibly touching story on EmpowHer.  It's from a dad, Joseph S. Raso, who lost his daughter to postpartum depression.  He asked Susan to post or share his story wherever she felt it could help others.  I'm helping to share it as well.....

The Best Meal of My Life

I experienced the best meal of my life the other day. That’s saying a lot from a man who is just shy of 60, and has spent his entire life in the restaurant business. Since my 6th birthday, when my parents opened up La Bella’s, a little mom and pop Italian restaurant, I have had the opportunity to travel and enjoy delicious meals prepared by some the world’s finest chefs.

Even after my wife left, and I was faced the prospect of raising two energetic children on peanut butter & jelly sandwiches and Hamburger Helper, I never lost my appetite for fine dining.

In the early 90’s I met my current wife Mary, a beautiful single mom of two. Her parents had passed, so I asked her eldest teenage daughter, Crystal, for permission to take her mom to dinner. It’s funny - looking back now, I can’t tell you what Mary was wearing, but the restaurant was a perfect combination of cozy atmosphere and scrumptious food.

As 2000 rolled around, our kids now grown, Mary and I discovered cruise ships. We realized, if we carefully picked our departure dates, we could cruise for about $200.00 a day with the all important, MEALS INCLUDED!

On a cruise ship, nothing surpasses the experience of a savory dinner of two hours, your meal prepared by top chefs, while enjoying an unhurried conversation with your spouse. A brochure on one of our cruises informed us that, for an extra $25.00, we could have the “Ultimate Dining Experience”. We could not believe our meals could get any tastier but we gave it a try. Words cannot explain the evening. The service was impeccable and the food was to die for. Gazing at Mary across the table with the moon rising behind her made my diner all the more unforgettable.

We have been on about ten cruises now and I never thought we could top those culinary delights, until the other day, when I experienced the best meal of my life.

Crystal, the oldest of our four children, was always the more serious. She was the one to whom we entrusted our most important papers and house keys when we left town. Crystal gave birth to Hannah in 2003 and baby Max in 2007. When Max was born, things just seemed to bother Crystal more. She seemed to worry about everything. We tried to reassure her, but that was Crystal, the worrier.

On Feb 25, 2008, we got together with her and her husband, Chris, for lunch. Everything seemed fine. On Feb 27, 2008 at 11:45 AM, Mary received a call from the police concerning a family emergency at Crystal’s house. As we raced the few blocks to her house, I feared the worse. Did baby Max, not yet four months old, die from Sudden Infant Death Syndrome? I begged: God please let Max be OK!

As we rounded the corner and their house came into view, there were police cars in the streets and driveway. A detective who was polite, but uninformative, stopped Mary and I from entering the house. As I turned back to the street, I noticed Chris holding baby Max. Knowing that Hannah was in school, I asked him what was going on. With a dazed look in his eyes he told us that Crystal had shot and killed herself.

She had seemed unusually worried the past few days, always fussing about Max, unable to get a good night’s sleep. Attempting to breast feed as long as possible, she was concerned that her milk was drying up. We didn’t notice the symptoms of what we later learned was, Postpartum Depression. We just thought that was Crystal, always worrying.

Over a year has now passed. We have all pulled together and gotten into the routine of helping Chris raise Hannah, his precocious first grade daughter, and Max, a handsome boy of sixteen months. I have volunteered to give Max his 06:00 AM feeding five days a week. This occupied my time and kept my mind off of Crystal. Mary would come over at 07:15 and get Hannah ready for school. In the morning commotion, Chris would wolf down some cereal, and if the kids were up, give them a kiss, and out the door he’d go, grateful for us being there.

It is amazing how we live assumptive lives. Every day, we assume our family will always be there. It’s not that we have taken them for granted it is just that no one ever expects to outlive their own child. I now appreciate the little things in life more. I love Max’s happy giggle every morning as I sing to him while changing his diaper. The joy experienced viewing Hannah’s beautiful sleepy face, when she rolls out of bed is unexplainable.

Mary and I took all four grand kids to a matinee the other day. After the movie, we stopped at Target to get them a snack. “We want the Kids $2.00 Hot Dog & Soda Special,” they yelled. Mary and I sat at a table across from them. As we ate, we enjoyed the view of our grandkids just being kids. I savored every second of hearing them laugh and watching them play as I finished my salad and hot dog. It was the best meal of my life.

Joseph and his family ask that you support The Melanie Blocker Stokes MOTHERS Act.  To do so, please go to www.perinatalpro.com. 

Kudos to organizations behind the Melanie Blocker Stokes MOTHERS ACT!!!

More on the Melanie Blocker Stokes MOTHERS ACT......

I think it's interesting to know who the sponsors of the bill are.  I'd like to send many kudos to these wonderful organizations who "get it" and see the need for postpartum depression legislation.  The leaders of these organizations are doing what they can to help bring moms with PPD out of the darkness of their depression and isolation, to make sure they receive the care and support they need so their needless suffering can end.

Here they are:

Postpartum Support International
Association of Women’s Health, Obstetric and Neonatal Nurses
American Psychological Association
American Psychiatric Association
Children’s Defense Fund
American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists
March of Dimes
Mental Health America
American College of Nurse Midwives
National Council for Community Behavioral Healthcare
Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance
Suicide Prevention Action Network USA
National Alliance on Mental Illness
Association of Maternal and Child Health Programs
National Partnership for Women & Families
OWL- The Voice of Midlife and Older Women
National Women’s Law Center

Support the Melanie Blocker Stokes MOTHERS Act by signing online petition - it's EASY!

I've written about the Melanie Blocker Stokes MOTHERS Act quite a bit on this blog, and I've recently heard that an online petition is being circulated now to garner support for this wonderful bill that will have such a positive impact on new moms and in the realm of perinatal mood disorders in general. I want to spread awareness of this online petition and encourage anyone reading this to sign it. It's so easy. I just signed up to have a letter sent via email to my local legislator.

All you need to do is go here:  http://capwiz.com/ndmda/issues/alert/?alertid=12832296 

You'll want to scroll down to the bottom of the page where it says "take action now" and enter your zip code.  It couldn't be easier!

Meet Ivy Shih Leung - PPD Writer Extraordinaire!

I've had the pleasure to get to know Ivy Shih Leung, a new writer on the scene who is tackling PPD in a big way. Ivy's wrapping up a book that she started writing shortly after suffering from PPD following the birth of her precious daughter.  And she just started a new blog where you can learn more on PPD statistics while reading her touching prose.  Here's an excerpt from her latest post:

"Fueled by the passion to help other women, angered by public remarks like 'There is no such thing as a chemical imbalance,' and determined to help stamp out the ignorance about PPD, I set out 5 months after my daughter was born and 2 months into my recovery to start writing my book and get the message out that those remarks couldn’t be further from the truth.  Determined to learn more about this misunderstood, under-diagnosed and undertreated illness, I joined Postpartum Support International (PSI) in 2006 and attended annual conferences to network with and pick up the latest information from subject matter experts.  I also attended two PSI fundraisers in my old hometown of N. Caldwell, NJ, which was hosted by Sylvia Lasalandra, author of 'A Daughter’s Touch' and attended by Senator Robert Menendez, Governor Jon Corzine, former NJ First Lady Mary Jo Codey (PPD survivor), Senator Richard Codey, and Dr. Manny Alvarez of Fox News, among many others.  I plan to participate in the Sounds of Silence second annual run/walk fundraising event on May 9^th on Long Island.

Having PPD at a time when mothers are “supposed to feel nothing but absolute bliss”-one of the “motherhood myths” I touch on in my book-is so embarrassing and difficult to talk about, that most women will not tell their stories to people they know, let alone to the world. There’s this fear of being judged, criticized and labeled as crazy and, worse yet, unfit mothers.

Well, I am not afraid to tell my story, especially if it means helping other mothers. I want to make a positive impact by empowering women with knowledge about an illness that is more prevalent than people think. One out of eight mothers (that’s a rate of 20%) suffer from PPD.  And I’m not talking about the baby blues, either.  Approximately 80% of mothers experience what is referred to as baby blues-the tendency to be teary/emotional due to the huge hormonal changes that occur with childbirth-within the first couple of weeks postpartum and resolves on its own."

Please check out Ivy's blog for the rest of her story, as well as additional info on PPD.

Susan Dowd Stone shares hopeful thoughts on the Melanie Blocker Stokes MOTHERS ACT

Susan Dowd Stone submitted the following article to EmpowHer yesterday and I want to help spread this info around because it's so crucial that this much-needed legislation gets passed. Please read below and click here to find out more about Susan and the tremendous work she is doing.

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Attention advocates of America’s mothers and the thousands of courageous women who are experiencing or who have survived a pregnancy or postpartum depression – you have not been forgotten. For among the significant challenges facing the 111th Congress, the issue of untreated maternal depression remains a top priority. One new Congressional focus is the rebuilding of national infrastructure. One might make the analogy that this should include enhancing the healthy infrastructure of our families by ending the preventable plague of maternal mood disorders which continues to ravage over 800,000 women – and their infants and families – every year. The long-term consequences of untreated maternal depression range from chronic illness, child learning disabilities, family stress and economic loss - to death.  

Congressman Bobby L. Rush has reintroduced The Melanie Blocker Stokes MOTHERS Act to the 111th Congress. During the 110th Congress, the legislation had over 130 bi-partisan cosponsors and passed the United States House of Representatives on October 15th, 2007 by a vote of 382-3. I was so very proud to be sitting in the Congressional Gallery on that triumphant day as a unified Congress validated the suffering of millions of American women and families by promising more support to help end this public health crisis. Congressman Rush never forgot the Chicago constituent – Melanie Blocker Stokes – who lost her life to this illness and whose tragic death inspired his decades long devotion to end maternal suffering.  

In the U.S. Senate, Sen. Robert Menendez has been similarly steadfast in his devotion and promotion of The MOTHERS Act. Initially based on New Jersey’s groundbreaking law inspired by PPD Survivor and former New Jersey First Lady Mary Jo Codey and spearheaded to passage by her husband N.J. State Senate President Richard Codey, the passage of this legislation has resulted in increased availability of services, public awareness campaigns and state-wide hot lines responsive to the crisis. While repeated attempts by Sen. Menendez and other senate leaders to pass the bill last fall narrowly missed, one pivotal result was that the national spotlight again became fixed on this incomprehensible Congressional stalemate. 

The resulting new waves of national attention and support for this bill and its clear, purposeful mission have further galvanized public support and public outcry for its passage. The research, education, public awareness campaigns and grants for treatment and supportive services requested in The Melanie Blocker Stokes MOTHERS Act will help to end the untold agony that too often goes unrecognized, undiagnosed and untreated. 

The countless women who walk through my practice door feeling shamed and marginalized for the medical illness they are trying to fight alone must know that these common disorders can afflict anyone - that these illness are treatable - that they did nothing to cause it - that they will be well again! That they are NOT ALONE!  

As president-elect Barack Obama - one of the bill’s initial lead sponsors – takes the nation’s helm this week, we anticipate a timely convergence of forces which will lend impetus to the bill’s passage this year.  

In addition to our legislative leaders, many thanks to all of you who have given voice and time and energy to turn this tide on the ignorance and suffering that has plagued American mothers and their families for decades – your moment is coming. With your renewed support and advocacy, we will pass The Melanie Blocker Stokes MOTHERS Act in 2009!  

SUMMARY OF THE LEGISLATION Section 1: Short title of the bill- The Melanie Blocker Stokes MOTHERS Act.  

TITLE I- Research  

• Encourages HHS to coordinate and continue research to expand the understanding of the causes of, and find treatments for, postpartum conditions. Also, encourages a National Public Awareness Campaign, to be administered by HHS, to increase awareness and knowledge of postpartum depression and psychosis.  

• Sense of Congress that the Director of the NIH may conduct a nationally representative longitudinal study of the relative mental health consequences for women of resolving a pregnancy (intended or unintended) in various ways, including carrying the pregnancy to term and parenting the child, carrying the pregnancy to term and placing the child for adoption, miscarriage, and having an abortion. This study may assess the incidence, timing, magnitude, and duration of the immediate and long-term mental health consequences (positive and negative) of these pregnancy outcomes. 

TITLE II- Delivery of Services 

• Encourages HHS to make grants available for projects for the establishment, operation, and coordination of systems for the delivery of essential services to individuals with postpartum depression. (Entities): Makes grants available to public or nonprofit private entity, which may include a State or local government, a public-private partnership, a recipient of a grant under the Healthy Start program, a public or nonprofit private hospital, community-based organization, hospice, ambulatory care facility, community health center, migrant health center, public housing primary care center, or homeless health center, or any other appropriate public or nonprofit private entity. o (Activities): Eligible activities include delivering or enhancing outpatient, inpatient and home-based health and support services, including case management and comprehensive treatment services for individuals with or at risk for postpartum conditions. Activities may also include providing education about postpartum conditions to new mothers and their families, including symptoms, methods of coping with the illness, and treatment resources, in order to promote earlier diagnosis and treatment.  

TITLE III- General Provisions 

• (Funding): Authorizes $3,000,000 for fiscal year 2008; and such sums as may be necessary for fiscal years 2009 and 2010.  

• (HHS Report): Requires the Secretary of HHS to conduct a study on the benefits of screening for postpartum depression and postpartum psychosis.  

• (Limitation): The Secretary may not utilize amounts made available under this Act to carry out activities or programs that are duplicative of activities or programs that are currently being carried out through the Dept of HHS.  

SUPPORTERS: Postpartum Support International Association of Women's Health, Obstetric and Neonatal Nurses American Psychological Association American Psychiatric Association Children’s Defense Fund American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists March of Dimes Mental Health America American College of Nurse Midwives National Council for Community Behavioral Healthcare Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance Suicide Prevention Action Network USA National Alliance on Mental Illness Association of Maternal and Child Health Programs National Partnership for Women & Families OWL- The Voice of Midlife and Older Women National Women’s Law Center

Time got away from me

I know it has been forever since my last blog post.  And it's not because I've not been in touch with the latest PPD-related news and issues.  It's just that life has been way too full and way too fast these days.....

So in the last month, my mom remarried (to a wonderful man who I just adore), the company where I work, EmpowHer, went out of beta and launched a fabulous new version of the site, and I've been dealing with my first holiday season post-divorce.  At the moment, I'm contemplating what it will be like to be alone on Christmas day.  (I had the kids with me over Thanksgiving.)  But I'm not too overly worried about it because if Christmas Day is anything like the rest of the year that has gone by so fast and furious, it will be a fleeting memory before I know it.  My New Year's resolution is to get back on track with my blog here and to stay focused on reaching out to women who need the best information and resources on postpartum depression.

Mother in Florida kills her three young sons and herself

My initial thought when reading the headline of this story was how tired I am of seeing these stories, over and over.  I felt this welling of frustration in my stomach.  Once again, more babies lives are destroyed, yet again, another mom takes her life ...  because we still have so much work to do to spread awareness of postpartum depression and its horrible life-threatening sister disorder, postpartum psychosis.  And authorities in Floral City, Florida, where this latest incident took place, are all scratching their heads, wondering why this young mother killed her babies and then herself.  Makes me want to scream.

Jenny's Light shines bright in the PPD world

I've just come upon a truly beautiful web site dedicated to an extraordinary young woman, Jennifer Gibbs Bankston, who became very ill with a perinatal mood disorder, and subsequently took her baby boy's life and then her own.  I cried as I read through the site and saw the photos of Jenny and her gorgeous son Graham.  I applaud the tremendous efforts of her family and friends who have created Jenny's Light and are reaching out to help prevent other moms and families from going through a similar, horrendous ordeal.  Please visit www.jennyslight.org.  

Pregnant on Prozac, Dr. Shoshana Bennett's latest book and a must-read!!!

I'm thrilled to announce a new book, "Pregnant on Prozac" by Dr. Shoshana Bennett, nationally renowned Postpartum Depression expert and past president of Postpartum Support International.  This new ground-breaking book will be released in January, 2009, and I personally can't wait to see it on book store shelves around the country.

I've written more than one post here on the issue of taking anti-depressants while pregnant and breastfeeding, and found out quickly that not only is it extremely controversial, but there are so many unanswered questions that continue to surround this issue.  And moms, as well as experts, end up lining up on opposite sides as we try to muddle through the confusion.

Well, now, thanks to Shoshana, there's finally a book that cuts through the fog and answers integral questions such as: Does the media exaggerate risks?  What of options such as tapering the dose? Most importantly, this book empowers each woman with the knowledge to make THE BEST decision for her and her family.  "Pregnant on Prozac" is for any prospective mother who has experienced depression or anxiety as well as anyone with a friend or loved one in this situation.  It's the first guide to separate the myths from the facts, and clearly spells out not only the possible risks of anti-depressant use (whether it be Prozac, Wellbutrin, or any of the other drugs), but also the lesser-known yet serious risks to both fetus and mother from untreated depression.  In the book, Shoshana also discusses natural treatment methods, which I believe is so very helpful and important, and haven't seen elsewhere.

The only problem now is waiting till January to scoop copies of this book off the shelves to give to every obstetrician and pregnant woman I know.....

Get to know the wonderful Stephanie Morales!

Stephanie Morales recently got in touch with me via EmpowHer, and I want to spread word of her wonderful work.  Stephanie is a licensed marriage and family therapist in private practice in Torrance, California.  In addition to her extensive involvement in the women's health arena in Los Angeles, Stephanie also makes time to volunteer as a Southern California Co-Coordinator for Postpartum Support International (PSI).  She is currently coordinating PSI's national resource list for their Spanish Warmline.  This warmline is an awesome resource, providing much needed Spanish-language PPD support through a toll-free number, at 1-800-944-4PPD (press 1 for Spanish).

Many, many kudos to Stephanie for her incredible dedication to helping women with PPD while spreading awareness in both English and Spanish.  If you have any resources that you'd like to share with Stephanie and her team at the Spanish Warmline, please contact her at: StephanieMoralesMFT@hotmail.com.  And check out her beautiful web site!

New postpartum depression scale may be effective in screening new moms

Researchers in Denver just announced that simply by asking three simple questions, doctors can tell whether or not a new mom may be suffering from postpartum depression.  This new three question screening process is basically a sub-scale of the traditional Edinburgh Postpartum Depression Scale that is commonly used.  Instead of asking a boat load of questions to a new mom who is most likely completely sleep-deprived, stressed, distracted and has an attention span of a toddler, this new scale contains only these three yes/no questions:

1) I have blamed myself unnecessarily when things went wrong.

2) I have felt scared or panicky for not very good reason.

3) I have been anxious or worried for not very good reason.

Apparently, in the study, this shorter PPD depression scale identified 16% more mothers as being depressed than the longer, Edinburgh questionnaire.

Personally, I see merit in the study and am so glad that PPD is receiving this kind of attention to detail.  However, had I taken the above test, I would not have been diagnosed, as my symptoms were all physical (mainly GI-related) and I had no idea that I felt anxious or scared or panicky.  I just wondered why I couldn't stop vomiting or feeling nauseous or dizzy all the time.

Much still needs to be done to educate our medical providers on just what the symptoms of depression are and how to more effectively reach those who are have so deeply fallen into a dark place that they are unable to seek help.

To read a complete article on the study, please visit EmpowHer, the world's greatest health site for women!

Kare Anderson, Moving From Me to We

Kare Anderson was so kind to read my Atlanta Mom post and then to take the time to leave a really nice comment. Here's what she wrote:

"Thank you for your bravery in sharing, your making so many people around you a part of your solution so they were 'touched' by the experience and thus may be more aware of others who are facing the same darkness.  I also admire your spotlighting the other mother in Atlanta."

Then Kare added the following:  "Remember the many compartments of the heart, the seed of what is possible.  So much of who we are is defined by the places we hold for each other.  For it is not our ingenuity that sets us apart, but our capacity for love, the possibility our way will be lit by grace.  Our hearts prism, chiseling out the colors of pure light."

How beautiful.  I'll have to find out if it is an original Kare quote or if it came from somewhere else.  How true it is that our capacity for love does truly set us apart.  Love has been on my mind lately, so Kare's timing couldn't have been better...

So I checked out her blog and so appreciate her mission of shedding much-needed light on the ways to successfully engage with others, even in this crazy texting-emailing-facebook-youtube-linkedin-twittering world that we live in.  

Bring it on, Kare.  Great job!

The Yellow Wallpaper: Chicago Danztheatre Ensemble performs Charlotte Perkins Gilman's famous story

I'm fascinated that a dance company is going to perform an adaptation of Charlotte Perkins Gilman's "The Yellow Wallpaper." This is one of my favorite books of all time for several reasons.  For one, it was written in 1891 by an amazingly strong woman who had suffered from postpartum depression.  It was in 1887 when she was suffering, when her doctor advised her to go home and live "as domestic a life as far as possible" and to "never touch a pen, brush or pencil" as long as she lived.  Nevermind that she was a writer.  So Charlotte obeyed her doctor's instructions and nearly went completely insane.  At the "borderline of utter mental ruin," Charlotte thankfully picked up a pen at the encouragement of a friend and wrote "The Yellow Wallpaper."  She then sent a copy of the book to the good doctor, who naturally never acknowledged it.

So this book has always meant a lot to me, not just due to the subject matter, but also because my cousin Whitney gave it to me when I'd just started recovering from my PPD experience. Whitney told me that I was in good company, and that actually felt really, really good, knowing that there was an amazingly brilliant and strong woman over a century ago who'd gone through the same ordeal.

So check out this link to the Chicago Danztheatre Ensemble's info and photo.  See the woman laying on the floor?  Looks a lot like me about 12 years ago....

If you happen to be in or near Chicago when the performance is slated, please go see it.  I wish I could!!  I think it's awesome that the Chicago Danztheatre Ensemble is helping to spread the word about PPD, not to mention honoring a great book by an amazing woman.

Performances of The Yellow Wallpaper: 

October 3-5, and October 10-12, 2008

Runs Fridays & Saturdays at 8 p.m., & Sundays at 7 p.m.

Gorilla Tango Theatre, 1919 N. Milwaukee, Chicago, IL 60647 Street parking available, CTA accessible - Blue line Western/    #49 Western, #73 Armitage and #56 Milwaukee busses

Handicapped accessible

Call for tickets: 773-598-4549

$15 general admission

2 for 1 tickets students & industry

Group discounts for 8 or more - call 773-486-8261

The 6th Annual Postpartum Depression 5K Walk/Run in Charleston, SC is coming up in September

The Ruth Rhoden Craven Foundation for Postpartum Depression Awareness is holding its 6th Annual Postpartum Depression 5K Walk/Run at 8:00 am on Saturday, September 13th, in Hampton Park, located in Charleston, South Carolina.

Even though September may sound like a ways off, it will be here before we know it, and online registration for this wonderful event has already started.

Helena Bradford established the foundation in honor of her daughter, Ruth Rhoden Craven, who suffered horribly from PPD. Here's a bit about Ruth from the foundation's web site:

"Ruth Craven was a beloved daughter, wife, mother, and friend who suffered from postpartum depression following the birth of her first child. This illness took a stable, positive, and happy young woman and turned her into a weakened, helpless, lost soul. On December 5, 1999, two and a half months after the birth of her son, Ruth could take the pain and anguish of PPD no more and ended her life."

Ruth's mom, Helena, is an absolutely incredible woman. I've had the honor of getting to know her via phone and email, and think the world of what she is doing to help spread awareness of PPD in her daughter's memory. Please consider taking part in her foundation's 5K fundraiser, or simply make a tax deductible donation to take part in spreading PPD awareness and education through this wonderful foundation.

PPD Hope offers a hotline available 24/7!

For women who are suffering from postpartum depression and need help now, there is a great hotline that I found at PPD Hope. The number is: (877) PPD-HOPE, or (877) 773-4673. I called it myself late last night just to check it out and make sure that a live person answers. Sure enough, a woman answered the line and confirmed that a live person answers 24 hours every day. You have options to receive free literature on PPD and/or get in touch with their peer support program.

The PPD Hope web site also offers a PPD screening test that you can take on the site so you can quickly and easily find out if you might need medical assistance or counseling.

I think this is a fabulous resource, so I want to help spread the word. PPD Hope was created by the Family Mental Health Institute (FMHI), a non-profit based in Washington, DC. The FMHI is working to make postpartum depression screening a universal standard of care across the U.S. Federal legislation is in the works, however currently this issue is left in the hands of individual states. Hopefully one day in the near future, every new mom will be screened for PPD before she leaves the hospital with her new baby.