Breastfeeding Mom Thrown Into Jail Over a Restraining Order

I blogged about this earlier on my other blog, and I think it's relevant here as well.

Amy Shroff, a young mom in Denver, Colorado, went to her local police station because she's terrified of her ex-husband, who was following her in his truck at the time. She ran into the station with her restraining order in her hands and let a police officer know that her ex was in violation of the order because he continues to contact her. The police officer mistakenly believed that the ex was the one who filed the restraining order against her (?!?), so he throws her into jail for the night. How crazy is that?

Never mind that she's in jail for no good reason, separated from her baby and unable to breastfeed. The police officer, Frank Spellman, apparently didn't care, even when she pleaded with him to let her go home to feed her baby. The baby ended up being fed formula and became ill as a result.

In the end, the City of Denver now has to pay Shroff $175,000 for her wrongful arrest. Which, in my opinion, is way too little.

So when you have this kind of situation, where you're a victim of domestic violence, afraid of your baby's father and dealing with a crazy system where you can actually get arrested when all you want is protection, ... how do you avoid depression? Her postpartum cannot have been a cake walk with the issues and abuse she has faced from her ex. It makes me depressed simply reading this woman's story as it's spread across the wires the past few days.

You can read one version of her story by clicking here.

Ever since I started my Order of Protection Survivor blog, I'm hearing about new moms who are dealing with issues of abuse that can only serve to exacerbate postpartum-related stress. I honestly don't know how these women get through such devastating issues while juggling the demands of a newborn.

Today I dismissed the Order of Protection against Neil Zucconi

Well, my nightmare is over. I went to court today and dismissed the Order of Protection that I had filed on March 19, 2010, against Neil Zucconi because I was able to obtain what I feel is even better and much longer lasting protection for myself and my family than the Order of Protection provides. (You can find a lot more about this on my other blog, http://orderofprotectionsurvivor.blogspot.com) I dismissed the order in exchange for a stipulated addendum that is now attached to our decree of dissolution of marriage (divorce decree). This stipulated addendum contains provisions that include the fact that Neil Zucconi "shall not come into the State of Arizona for a period of one (1) year, ... and shall have no contact whatsoever with (me) by any means." So, no contact with me -- ever.

More on the legal saga can be found here on this public Maricopa County Superior Court web site.

I feel pretty good about this. It's "forever," whereas an Order of Protection is valid for only one year, at the end of which time, I would have had to go back to court to continue to have it upheld. One drawback to giving up my Order of Protection is the fact that it came with police enforceable protection. I don't have that now that the Order of Protection has been dismissed, however the stipulated addendum of the divorce decree is a fully enforceable order of the court....and if it is ever violated, I can easily go to court to get another Order of Protection.

While I was in court earlier today to take care of the Order of Protection dismissal, I listened to another woman who was there to obtain an Order of Protection of her own. Her story was so sad, as she recounted for the judge the physical abuse that she and her nine-year-old son had experienced at the hand of her boyfriend. And there were other women besides her who were waiting to see the judge to have their Orders of Protection filed as well. This must go on every hour of every day in every court across the country. It's crazy. Thank goodness we have legal protection in place for domestic violence victims such as the young woman who's testimony I heard, but how horrible that women have to resort to it.

This has definitely been an eye-opening and very jolting experience to go through, and if any of my blog readers would like to reach me or to know more about my story, feel free to leave a comment below.

Dealing with Divorce and a Restraining Order

Unfortunately I haven't posted here in a while due to personal reasons. Although not related to postpartum depression, my present situation is just as devastating on a mental and emotional level, and I'm guessing there are plenty of women who can relate, so I'll share what's going on with me right now....

I just recently divorced and it has been extremely traumatic. My marriage to Neil Zucconi was quite brief; after about 10 months I filed for divorce. And shortly after that, on March 19, 2010, I filed an Order of Protection (restraining order) with the Superior Court in Phoenix, and he was subsequently served on April 30. One challenging aspect of this has been the fact that Neil is in law enforcement, as an air marshal with TSA. The amount of mental anguish and emotional stress and general fear that I've been dealing with in filing this restraining order has overwhelmed me. (You can find a lot more about this on my other blog, http://orderofprotectionsurvivor.blogspot.com.)

I'm in the process of reaching out to others who are dealing with or who have dealt with filing a restraining order against a spouse or significant other. I'm also looking for divorce support groups and other resources that might help as I head towards recovery. I know it's going to be a long haul. I think that to some extent, I'm still in shock about what has happened. I didn't see this coming at all. It actually reminds me a lot of the many months back in 1996 when I was on the road to recovery from postpartum depression. Once again, I'm dealing with feelings of shock, helplessness, fear, anger, sadness, and of course, a big blow to my self esteem.

This is definitely not easy.