Breastfeeding Mom Thrown Into Jail Over a Restraining Order

I blogged about this earlier on my other blog, and I think it's relevant here as well.

Amy Shroff, a young mom in Denver, Colorado, went to her local police station because she's terrified of her ex-husband, who was following her in his truck at the time. She ran into the station with her restraining order in her hands and let a police officer know that her ex was in violation of the order because he continues to contact her. The police officer mistakenly believed that the ex was the one who filed the restraining order against her (?!?), so he throws her into jail for the night. How crazy is that?

Never mind that she's in jail for no good reason, separated from her baby and unable to breastfeed. The police officer, Frank Spellman, apparently didn't care, even when she pleaded with him to let her go home to feed her baby. The baby ended up being fed formula and became ill as a result.

In the end, the City of Denver now has to pay Shroff $175,000 for her wrongful arrest. Which, in my opinion, is way too little.

So when you have this kind of situation, where you're a victim of domestic violence, afraid of your baby's father and dealing with a crazy system where you can actually get arrested when all you want is protection, ... how do you avoid depression? Her postpartum cannot have been a cake walk with the issues and abuse she has faced from her ex. It makes me depressed simply reading this woman's story as it's spread across the wires the past few days.

You can read one version of her story by clicking here.

Ever since I started my Order of Protection Survivor blog, I'm hearing about new moms who are dealing with issues of abuse that can only serve to exacerbate postpartum-related stress. I honestly don't know how these women get through such devastating issues while juggling the demands of a newborn.

How do you deal with the trauma of an order of protection?

Yes, I'm still taking a brief break from my PPD posts here and posting on my current ordeal instead....

But, before I delve more into my stuff, it just occurred to me that it must be an absolute nightmare to be a new mom AND to deal with the devastation of a traumatic divorce. I can't imagine juggling the demands of a newborn while coping with the fear, shock and craziness that comes with divorce. And what if you have to deal with filing a restraining order against your spouse or significant other at the same time? I can't even begin to imagine.

It's difficult enough wading through the court system while trying to find people who can help advocate for you. I've been extremely fortunate to have found an incredible local resource that I never knew existed until I was forced to call upon the police one horrible night this past February. That incident triggered a phone call with the Victim Services Program at my local police department where I discovered amazing advocates (both paid and volunteer staff) who are incredibly knowledgeable and supportive.

These dedicated Victim Services advocates are amazing and heroic in their efforts on behalf of women who are suffering, and who need legal guidance as well as police assistance. I will forever be grateful to Betsy, one of the advocates there who not only held my hand throughout the traumatic Order of Protection filing process, but she also successfully tracked down my ex-husband, Neil Zucconi, in California to have him served with the Order of Protection.

But even with that tremendous support, I have often felt very alone throughout this time. Not because I don't have amazing, caring friends and family supporting me, but because I really don't know others who have gone through this. I never imagined this would happen to me. I never even imagined that I'd ever have to call 911. This wasn't supposed to be part of my life.

But then again, whoever expects this stuff to happen. Things like postpartum depression, cancer, losing your job, death of a loved one, domestic violence, ... you name it. Something devastating can seep insidiously into your life with little or no warning, and there you are. I guess it's all about how you cope....

You can find a lot more about this part of my life on my other blog, http://orderofprotectionsurvivor.blogspot.com.