Kare Anderson, Moving From Me to We

Kare Anderson was so kind to read my Atlanta Mom post and then to take the time to leave a really nice comment. Here's what she wrote:

"Thank you for your bravery in sharing, your making so many people around you a part of your solution so they were 'touched' by the experience and thus may be more aware of others who are facing the same darkness.  I also admire your spotlighting the other mother in Atlanta."

Then Kare added the following:  "Remember the many compartments of the heart, the seed of what is possible.  So much of who we are is defined by the places we hold for each other.  For it is not our ingenuity that sets us apart, but our capacity for love, the possibility our way will be lit by grace.  Our hearts prism, chiseling out the colors of pure light."

How beautiful.  I'll have to find out if it is an original Kare quote or if it came from somewhere else.  How true it is that our capacity for love does truly set us apart.  Love has been on my mind lately, so Kare's timing couldn't have been better...

So I checked out her blog and so appreciate her mission of shedding much-needed light on the ways to successfully engage with others, even in this crazy texting-emailing-facebook-youtube-linkedin-twittering world that we live in.  

Bring it on, Kare.  Great job!

Atlanta Mom asks me about how to prevent postpartum depression

Yesterday I heard from Atlanta Mom who also blogs about her PPD experience and tries to reach out to help new moms. She asked me how I overcame PPD with my subsequent pregnancy. Even though I've written about how I prevented experiencing PPD a second time, it's been a while, so I want to share what I wrote back to her.

Here's an excerpt from my e-mail to her:

I was determined not to go through PPD again at all costs, and began researching ways to avoid it. I came upwith a list of options/resources and spent much of the pregnancy planning on what I wanted my postpartum tobe like.

One thing I did was to hire a postpartum doula. That was absolutely the best money that I've ever spent!

I also enlisted my neighbors and close friends to help -- I told them my PPD story, if I hadn't already shared it with them, and asked if they would help with different areas that they felt like they could help with (ie: preparing meals, having my two older kids over for play dates, going to the grocery store for me, etc.). I got my friends to commit to certain things, and they were so happy to help out -- they were awesome. (It's so hard to ask for help,but once you do, you find that your close friends are so relieved to know what they can do that will truly help you.)

I also hired a neighborhood teenager to come over to my house nearly every afternoon just for a couple of hours or so toplay actively with my older kids, to give them really solid attention. My husband saved up his vacation time andwas able to take a full 3 weeks off after the birth, and he was great around the house and supervising everything.

I also started on an anti-depressant within minutes after giving birth, and also had a psychologist on call in case I experienced any PPD symptoms so that I could quickly get in to see her or have a phone consultation if I needed it.

So, basically I was very focused on creating a really strong support system, not only helping me with just about everything but also helping me monitor any PPD symptoms should they arise. Happily, I never even experienced a single symptom!! It was a wonderful postpartum and I was relatively rested even after having had a C-section. The doula helped me immensely with getting the baby on a schedule while juggling my older kids. I only needed her help for the first three weeks. I stayed on the anti-depressant for about 9 months or so just to make sure I was doing okay, and then I gradually weaned off of it and did great. PPD is totally preventable. That's my big message. The big thing is overcoming the fear of going through it again, facing that fear and then preparing/educating yourself on how to avoid it. Everyone should be able to experience a happy postpartum!!