May 3, 2010

Dealing with Divorce and a Restraining Order

Unfortunately I haven't posted here in a while due to personal reasons. Although not related to postpartum depression, my present situation is just as devastating on a mental and emotional level, and I'm guessing there are plenty of women who can relate, so I'll share what's going on with me right now....

I just recently divorced and it has been extremely traumatic. My marriage to Neil Zucconi was quite brief; after about 10 months I filed for divorce. And shortly after that, on March 19, 2010, I filed an Order of Protection (restraining order) with the Superior Court in Phoenix, and he was subsequently served on April 30. One challenging aspect of this has been the fact that Neil is in law enforcement, as an air marshal with TSA. The amount of mental anguish and emotional stress and general fear that I've been dealing with in filing this restraining order has overwhelmed me. (You can find a lot more about this on my other blog, http://orderofprotectionsurvivor.blogspot.com.)

I'm in the process of reaching out to others who are dealing with or who have dealt with filing a restraining order against a spouse or significant other. I'm also looking for divorce support groups and other resources that might help as I head towards recovery. I know it's going to be a long haul. I think that to some extent, I'm still in shock about what has happened. I didn't see this coming at all. It actually reminds me a lot of the many months back in 1996 when I was on the road to recovery from postpartum depression. Once again, I'm dealing with feelings of shock, helplessness, fear, anger, sadness, and of course, a big blow to my self esteem.

This is definitely not easy.

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

Don't worry about your PPD writing. Take time to heal yourself first. Sounds like you've been thru hell!

Anonymous said...

Beware Ladies - Neil Zucconi is living in San Diego, CA. Yes, Air Marshall based out of San Diego, also an Army reserve. Selfish, evil behind those baby blue eyes.

Anonymous said...

Any man who makes a woman frightened is nothing more than a sack of shit. Ive been in law enforcement for a long time and have seen a lot of these assholes.

Kristin said...

For the second commenter (above): I'd be interested to know the reason behind your warning. Why do you say "selfish, evil?" If you share a bit of your experience, it might make your warning more valid to the women reading this blog. You can comment here completely anonymously, obviously, and I'm sure there are others who would be interested in hearing your story.

Or feel free to email me at kristinzucconi@gmail.com.

I really appreciate you taking the time to comment on my blog!

Take care,
Kristin

Anonymous said...

Dear Anonymous (Aug 31, 2010). What factual information do you have to share? Also, which Army unit is he in? What is your association with Mr. Zucconi?

Anonymous said...

I also know Neil Zucconi and he's bad news. Women should not get involved with him.

Kristin said...

To my anonymous reader who just recently commented: the purpose of this space is not to defame or criticize someone without any basis/proof. Would you like to share your story or provide some solid information on why he's "bad news?" That would be helpful. Have you filed a restraining order against him in the past?

Thanks for visiting my blog,
Kristin

Anonymous said...

I am so sorry to hear your story! I also dated Neil when I was young in San Diego. I won't go into details. But thank god I listed to the little voice in my head and broke up with him. When I started dating my current husband he used to sit outside my apartment and this really scared me because he was a US Marshall and I was in the military. I was very embarrassed yet had very little control. You and your children our in my thoughts and prayers.

Kristin said...

Anonymous, thank you so much for your comment! It's really amazing to hear from other women who have unfortunately had Neil in their lives - believe me, there are several others, you're not the only one - and I'm so glad for your sake that you got out of your relationship with him.

I really appreciate your thoughts and prayers for me and my children - that truly means a lot. It's been one hell of a year for us, but we've put it behind us as a challenging learning experience and are very grateful to be in a very happy and healthy place now. Thank you again for sharing part of your story with me.

Warmest regards,
Kristin